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Strip Pubs in London

Long before the North American concepts of Lap Dancing and Pole Dancing reached Britain, we in the UK had our own Strip Pubs. This is where, with beer at nearly normal pub price, one of several girls strips and dances nude, several times each hour. It works because before each dance, the girl circulates amongst the male onlookers, and requests a donation in the beer glass she carries. This would typically be  fifty Pence or one Pound (seventy Cents or one Dollar forty).

The beauty is, for the gentlemen, it's an extremely cheap way to be able to have a girl take all her clothes off in front of you, open her legs as wide as she can, and show you her cunt and arse (sorry Americans, ass). Usually the pubs don't charge an entry fee. For the pub, they don't pay the strippers, so they get drinkers encouraged in for free. For the girls, they get good money, with very little risk of their family or neighbor (sorry Brits, neighbour) knowing they exhibit their fanny (do you Americans use that word?) for money (unlike posing for magazines, where the seeming city gent next door actually has a cupboard full of copies of Escort Magazine).

For those pervs like me who do not aspire to beautiful models, but prefer the enticingly attainable girl next door, this is the ideal place. The most beautiful and youngest (there are exceptions) strippers tend to work the Gentlemen's Clubs (Pole and Lap Dancing), where they can earn more money. With Pub Strippers, they're just the sort you might be able to meet and chat up on the 53 bus to Oxford Circus (it used to go to Camden Town, but times change). When you chat them up as they make their collection (as I frequently do, but never succeed), you don't have that feeling, "she's too beautiful, she won't want someone like me." And you can dream whilst chatting her up, what a turn on it would be to have a girlfriend who exposes herself in front of strange men. (Am I weird?). And think of all that money she could earn you- you could stop working and spend your life drinking beer and watching your girlfriend open her arse (sorry, ass) cheeks for a room full of men. (Footnote in case my wife ever reads this- if I do chat them up, I'm not serious, but its about time you got up on that pub stage, and made my dreams come true).

Here's an outline of some of the pubs in London I've frequented-

Browns

Found on the Hackney Road, E2, just outside the city, ten or fifteen minutes walk North of Liverpool Street Station. Very up market. No jeans, trainers etc.

One of the first I frequented, it then had less of an up market image and was called the Horns- very apt. One of my fondest memories is one of the first strippers I ever watched here or any where. I was, shall we say just eighteen (the minimum age for being in such an establishment, so we'll leave it at that). The other girl that day had bigger tits, hence was more popular with the audience. But the one of my wet dreams was obviously somewhat exhibitionist and enjoying her work. She could actually dance and actually teased as well as stripped. Whilst I love to see plenty of pussy in due course, many girls get straight to the main course far to quickly. In her final dance, the one I liked wore a mini dress, but without any knickers, so that every time she jumped, her dress flew up so I could see her pubes and arse. Of course, she then removed this and displayed herself completely naked. Over 20 years ago, and I still remember!

Metropolis

This is at Cambridge Heath Road, E2. Its as up market as you can get without paying an entry fee. Surprisingly, if anything they are a little too lax in comparison to Browns on the dress code. I've sat their in my scruffiest clothes surrounded by the city gents, and felt a little self conscious. The girls are young and beautiful, and you're surrounded by them. Apart from the normal on stage routines, you can chose one to give you a personal pole dance in a private booth for a few pounds (a similar service is available at Browns). If you're not choosing, they come up to you and offer to dance for you. There is no pressure, and if you decline they won't ask again. There is an upstairs area- I don't know what happens there as I've never been there, but it sounds very enticing. The lighting is a little too low key and exotic for me- I prefer bright lights so I can see every pubic hair.

Ye Olde Axe

To be found at Hackney Road E2. This is currently my favorite. The girls are often typical girl next door. There is a stage, but they don't use it normally, so they're there right in front of you spreading their legs. The last time I went, I noticed there is an entry fee in the evenings, but it was still free at lunch time- don't go early as they tend to have a late start. At lunch time the pub is often worryingly empty, so please support this fantastic pub. By the way, the decor is shit, which adds to the down to earth feel.

Queen Anne

A trip to Vauxhall Station is in order, 'cause that's where you'll find the Queen Anne. Its at Vauxhall Walk, SE11. Leave the station by the exit the other side of the station from the Thames, and turn left. Cross the road and walk through the entrance to the park there. The pub is found on the right hand boundary of the park.

There is a large stage where the girls do their business. I prefer the places where there is no stage, or at least its not used. However, for those who like up close action, the Queen Anne is still good as there is a ring of seats around the stage. Often occupying one of the seats is not good, as its as if you're sitting their with a large placard taped to your back saying, "spot the dirty old man." No problem here, though, as there are plenty of stage-side seats and not many others, so there's safety in numbers.

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© Copyright Peter Smith 2000 - 14 - 2008